Yesterday morning, my kids ate pizza for breakfast. Yep. It’s out there. Let the judging begin.
To be honest though, I’m not sure that there would be anything that you could say to me that I hadn’t thought to myself, and about myself, in that moment when I walked into the kitchen at 6.42am and saw my young children with pizza slices halfway from hand to mouth.
The initial thoughts were those of shock and horror:
“oh my goodness, get it off them quick, that is not a good breakfast, that will not set them up for the day, there is no nutritional value in that at all!”
Followed by fear that drove thoughts of how to ‘fix’ the situation:
“I need to get them to eat something proper now, get them back on track for the day ahead. I should get them some fruit. A banana. I should get them a banana. And an apple. They are full of vitamins and energy, that will help get their bodies some goodness to fuel them.”
And then finally, as I stood there thinking about all the things I could do to fix the problem, some clarity, reason and perspective seemed to settle on me and in that moment I found that I had just one thought:
“What actually is the problem?”
You see, when I take a step back for a moment, what is the big deal about my kids having pizza for breakfast one morning? What terrible disaster do I think will happen off the back of that one breakfast choice? What kind of a mum do I believe it makes me that I allowed pizza to be on the breakfast menu? Because really, that’s actually what the problem was – feeling in that moment like I’d dropped a Parenting Ball. Feeling that I didn’t measure up. Believing that no decent, loving, capable, good mother would allow their child to have pizza for breakfast.
Sometimes, when we feel those overwhelming emotions of worry, anxiety, fear, disappointment or heartache, we just need to press pause. We need to place a hand on our chest and breathe. And as we breathe, we need to ask – what actually is the problem here?
Press through the surface layers of emotions; the loud and demanding feelings of dismay and panic and look for where they come from. What are you really feeling in this moment – Failure? Worthless? Hopeless? Why?
What are you thinking about yourself in this moment?
What are you believing about yourself?
Take a look at the real problem, what you are really feeling and what you are believing about yourself and then determine whether that is true, put it into perspective and then choose what you want to do next.
For me, I saw that the real problem was that I felt I’d messed up on the Mum front. I saw that what I felt was insecurity and fear because I believed in that moment that I wasn’t doing a good enough job of being a mum. And I saw that none of this was true. That when I put it in perspective of the many previous days of parenting and the many, many more to come, that one breakfast was not the measurement of my ability as a mum.
And so then I chose what to do next; I chose to see that my kids had actually showed great initiative in getting on and making their own breakfast, that I loved their independence and resourcefulness, and that actually, those skills are a far greater reflection of the job that I am doing as a mum each and every single day in each and every small way.
So, my kids can eat pizza for breakfast (sometimes), and I’m comfortable with you knowing it, because I know that life is bigger than one breakfast, one moment of disappointment, one moment of hurt, and I know that I get to choose where I go from there – and so do you.